Mona Lisa Smile
I’m starting to think that I need to add a bit more spice to my weekends. Their main purpose for me is to recharge and refresh for the next week, but I feel like sometimes I waste the valuable time that I have staying at home when I could be out checking things off of my ‘100 things to do before I die’ list. I have an entire state to conquer before I leave and not too much time to do it in. Maybe next week I’ll plan something spectacular. I must say, though, that there is a certain charm about home– about waking up whenever, about staying in pajamas. There is something wonderful about wrapping myself in an oversized blanket and nestling in the couch as I read a good book or watch a movie.
I’ve watched a couple of good movies today, namely “Cold Mountain” and “When Harry Met Sally.” I am in the middle of watching “Mona Lisa Smile,” but it provoked such thought that I knew I had to write about it immediately. “Mona Lisa Smile” is a movie about a private girls college in the 1950s, and the lifestyle and expectations of the women during that time are fascinating. That period was focused on women being wives and mothers and little else. Women that broke that airtight mold were looked down upon. It was a time of inequality. When I looked at that, I was frustrated and angry because I went to two private colleges for my undergraduate work that were in essence time warps to the 1950s. To the girls that attended my school, marriage and motherhood were everything. Not that I don’t think getting married and having children is important because I wouldn’t be here if my mom didn’t think those things were important. However, I believe there is more to life, and I want more from life. I respect my mom so much because she did more with her life. She worked hard for something she wanted to become, and now she is extremely successful.
I wouldn’t say that I regret my choice to go to the colleges that I did because I met many wonderful people, and I have been touched by beautiful friendships. I have been able to experience two very different parts of the country: Chicago and Northern California. I have learned much. But I hate that I didn’t get to be 21, that I didn’t get to go to parties, or do stupid college kid stuff like getting a tattoo that I would regret the next day. I hate that my first experience with alcohol was shortly after I turned 23. I hate that I never got to kiss or touch my boyfriends. I hate that I felt guilty for sneaking out with a friend to get Taco Bell. I mean, really? But in the end, it wasn’t the school’s fault, it was mine. I chose to go there; thus, it was my fault I missed out on all of those things.
I was so unhappy, but I didn’t realize that it was my choice to be there and that I could make a change until my roommate during my last summer at the college said something to me as I was stressing out over my workload. She said, “You know, Sudie, you don’t have to do this. It’s your choice.” You’d think that I would have realized that already, but I guess it just hit me. All at once, I thought, “This is my life and I have to make choices that make me happy and live the life that I want to life.” It took a few months before I finally made a solid decision and came up with a plan for my life, but as soon as I did, I felt like the world was at my fingertips. I have my whole life ahead of me, and it is thrilling.
I am thankful for the many women that have paved the way for me to have opportunity, freedom, and equality.